i love both you and the german language way too much
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Freitag, August 11, 2006
i need to call priya.
i need to stop calling ben so much...when i want to BE with him and i end up CHATTING with him, it leaves me feeling all uncomfortably aware of the fact that he's nowhere at hand and just generally blech.
i've been feeling very alone and sad in my house. i wonder if mommy feels the same way.
mother daughter dinner at v was very nice. after tomorrow (the big hump to get over at work), i plan to start being social and spending time with the important herepeople as much as possible.
i have overdue library books. i hate this feeling.
10:00 PM
Samstag, August 05, 2006
feeling pretty overwhelmed/incompetent. Like a little kid (of the 'balloon,' not 'sand' type) whose self-esteem is completely destroyed by every mistake and setback. also just kind of generalizedly sad. and i ate way too recently to be about to go running with keara, which is where i'm going now. late. like i was late for work. i kind of hate work. i fear that this is not a property of my job itself but of my personality and work in general. which is depressing.
7:30 PM
Freitag, August 04, 2006
I have suspicions about who suffers more and less from this shit, but I wonder if they can really be right. In any case, it's unpleasant for all.
Valuable skill to work on: being able to take care of myself in a way roughly equivalent to having someone else sit with me and pet me gently or dleiberately monologue lightly so that I can have conversation without having to exert the effort of speaking.
So far what I've got is babar and a full bubba keg (whom I a little bit broke today! must find krazy glue. it's his handle) or cup of tea and either harry potter audiobook or that mix i made for lying curled up around the heat pad on my cramped-out abdomen. cramped-out is a terrible hyphenation. it sounds...mostly just stupid. and terrible.
(almost as terrible as the practice of hyphenation. tewc. i just combined too different in-references. does that make me cool?)
11:50 PM
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